Aging

There are few things that remind me that I am not the kid I always thought I was. Firstly, it was my last birthday which was the 58th birthday I've had. My father passed away at 59 and his father before him at 58 so my mortality has been on my mind for a while. Secondly, my children are 23 and 19 and are well on their way to being full fledged adults. My daughter has been out of school for almost two years and is working in a job she loves in her field of study (theater arts) and my son is almost halfway through his college career and playing baseball for his college team which he loves. They leave for spring training in Arizona tomorrow and I wish I was going...but I digress. The third reminder of my aging is the pain I feel in my lower back. Being way too sedentary and at least 20 pounds too heavy, my poor posture and way too many hours on the couch contribute to some serious back pain that has driven me to seek chiropractic help. One session so far and I can see many more in my future.

I have always joked that my youthful appearance is due to the fact that I refuse to grow up. Unfortunately, there's was a bitter truth to that and in the last two and a half years I have struggled to let go of my adolescent emotional leanings and had to face some hard truths about who i was and who I wanted to be (and how I wanted to treat others). It's a path I do not regret taking and I am a better person for it. It has led me through some very painful and difficult times (divorce) which caused my relationship with my children great pain and discomfort, but I believe I have emerged from the worst of it. Things are better with them and I am a happier, more congruent individual for it all.

So...I am growing up and aging...and feeling my age as never before. I am learning to appreciate what I have and not let the unimportant make me crazy. It's been a tradeoff I am willing to make...and every day is a gift that I am grateful for...even if my back is killing me.